If you’re upset by a campus animal therapy program, you might need to rethink your priorities.
Several months ago, my alma mater’s magazine included a story about an on-campus therapy dog program. The following issue included a couple of letters from cranky alumni, who complained about how soft students have become. You know the type of letter: “Back in my day… .” One of the alumni graduated when I did, and I was tempted to write in myself and point out that puppies and kittens were brought in at least once during our years there. I remember that they were very popular with students who missed the opportunity to interact with pets.
But my problem wasn’t really my classmate’s selective memory. What struck me was the fact that people were annoyed enough by the therapy dog program to write a letter to the editor. They felt it was more important to take the time to complain about students getting soft (in their view) than to use that time to tackle more pressing issues.
We’ve seen this happen recently with Trump’s response to NFL players taking a knee during the national anthem. Many people have pointed out that when he was busy tweeting about the issue, he was largely silent about helping Puerto Rico after Hurricane Maria. Beyond that, he seems to care more about the national anthem and the flag than he does about the freedoms they represent. This is something that speaks volumes about his priorities. Of course, this isn’t something new. From time to time lawmakers have moved to outlaw burning the flag. I don’t like it when people choose to burn the flag in protest; I think protesters can make their points in less alienating ways. But I support the right to burn the flag, because I believe that the symbol is never more important than what it symbolizes.
Of course there are times when we’ll want to vent our feelings about the little things that bug us — although I remember with shame when a bereaved coworker, after listening to us talk about our pet peeves, said pointedly, “My pet peeve is when people get upset about trivial things.” I also know all too well that our emotions can get the better of us (frequently when we are behind the wheel). But we would be wise to ask ourselves: Just how much does what I’m getting upset about really matter? How does taking a knee during the anthem outweigh the racism that the individual is protesting by his action? Why are therapy dogs on a campus so bad that you must write a letter to the editor?
I’ve written before about speaking up and the importance of using good judgment in determining when and how to speak. There are times when we should speak out against what’s wrong, and there are times to let things go. If we all paused before we spoke out and asked ourselves how important the matter really was, what sorts of divides could be healed?
My guess is that almost no one enjoys paying taxes. I don’t! We’d prefer to use our money on something we choose for ourselves. I’m also sure there are areas where government budgets could be trimmed, though you and I might disagree on those areas.
That said, I sometimes reflect on what our taxes get us, and I feel grateful. Really!
Let’s set aside things like roads, public safety, and the safety net that taxes provide — all of which are good. I have two very specific tax benefits in mind: parks and libraries.
It was at a state park this spring when I knew that sooner or later I’d write this post. As I sat in a spot overlooking much of the park, it occurred to me that I was, in a sense, part-owner of that land… and so are all of the other residents of my state. It’s truly amazing that, through taxes, land is set aside for the public. From green spaces in busy cities to our stunning national parks, we have a lot of natural beauty to enjoy.
And then there are libraries. I own a ridiculous number of books, but I’m glad that I don’t have to buy every book I want to read or use as a reference. And through our local library, I have access not only to books but also to music, movies, and the Internet. I’m grateful to live someplace where information and entertainment are available to people of all levels of income.
I can’t claim that I’m saintly enough that I won’t feel a little let down if I have to write a check to the IRS in April, rather than getting money back. (Really, that attitude is illogical, since getting money back just means we gave the government a free loan when we overestimated how much to have taken from our paychecks.) But I am glad for the benefits we receive for our tax dollars; I think our lives would be poorer were we to lose our libraries and parks.
So this week, I encourage you to reflect on the benefits of paying taxes. Then check out a library book, take it to a park, and enjoy the fruits of your tax dollars!
Are you living in a bubble? Photo by kazuend on Unsplash.
After last year’s presidential election, Democrats who were shocked that Trump won were encouraged to step outside their bubbles.
This isn’t bad advice, but it isn’t just urban Democrats who should step outside of their bubbles. All of us should work to understand people who are different from ourselves by exposing ourselves to all sorts of diversity.
It can be difficult for us to step outside of our insulated worlds. Sometimes there are invisible barriers that are hard to overcome. If you aren’t wealthy, how likely is it that you’ll get to know a wealthy person? Sometimes we’re afraid of people who are different from us. Have you ever ignored a homeless person because you feared interacting with them? Often we simply prefer to be with people who are like ourselves.
But here are just some of the reasons why we should make the effort anyway:
It will help us develop understanding and empathy. As a Christian, I believe in a God who embodies love and who calls me to love others. But I can’t truly love people if I won’t make an effort to understand them. Even if you don’t believe in a moral imperative to love, there’s a selfish reason to understand and empathize with people who are different from you: If you are trying to persuade others, you won’t be very good at it unless you understand their point of view. As someone who works in marketing, I know that my job is to reach potential customers. In order to do that, I need to understand them.
It will shake up our worldview. We don’t really like to have our worldview challenged, but I think it’s better to have beliefs that are able to stand up to different viewpoints than to build our lives around ideas that are too fragile to be questioned. And it’s better to be open to changing one’s mind than to steadfastly cling to something because we’re afraid to consider alternatives.
It will enhance our creativity. Creativity flourishes when we expose ourselves to novelty. Whether we’re interested in being more creative artistically, generating new business ideas, or making scientific discoveries, one of the best things we can do for our brains is to step outside our bubbles.
There are countless ways for us to expose ourselves to different people and viewpoints. Here are a few ideas:
Get your news from a variety of sources. Read outside your geographical area. If you only read your hometown paper, subscribe to the online version of a paper from another part of the country. Better yet, get your news from international sources as well. And if your news sources are only reinforcing your beliefs, it’s time to expand your list of go-to sources.
Diversify the people you follow on Twitter. When I was fairly new to Twitter, I realized that almost all of the people I was following were white, so I made a point of following people who did not look like me. Now my biggest challenge is to make sure I’m following people I disagree with. I don’t think it’s a big surprise to my readers when I say that I lean to the left . But I’ve made a point of following some conservative columnists and politicians. And if a person with whom I disagree follows me, I will often follow them back. (A recent follower who didn’t pass the test? Someone whose tweets all seemed to be anti-Hillary Clinton rants. It’s fine not to like her, but I don’t have time for tweet after tweet about locking her up.)
Listen to podcasts that expose you to diversity. As a white person, I find NPR’s Code Switch podcast very worthwhile. And the Hidden Brain podcast helps me understand why we prefer our bubbles in the first place. There are many ways you can diversify your listening habits, whether you expose yourself to different political opinions, listen to world news, or just explore music you wouldn’t normally listen to.
Read widely. Don’t stick to your favorite genre, and be sure to read books by authors who are different from you. Read both nonfiction and fiction about situations you’ve never experienced and topics you’ve only examined from one point of view (if at all).
Be open to friends who are different from you… but don’t let differences be the motive for pursuing a relationship with someone. No one wants to be your project, the person you’re trying to get acquainted with because you don’t know anyone who is [black/gay/an atheist/a Republican/autistic/you name it]. Instead, simply be aware of who you’re surrounding yourself with. Are you excluding people from your life because they’re different from you? Are you open to meeting people who aren’t like you? Put yourself in the way of potential friendships with people who are different from you and allow friendships to develop naturally as you would with any other person.
Don’t make anyone your token. I don’t want to represent all Christians to people who aren’t Christian. That’s a heavy burden to bear. I’m human, and I don’t want people to chalk up my faults to a certain group. “Well that’s Christians for you.” You know you aren’t representative of your entire race or gender or religion or political party. Get to know many different people and recognize the variety of personalities that exist within any group.
We’ll never understand everyone, and naturally we’ll always find it easiest to see things from our own points of view. But every time we choose to step outside our bubbles, we expand them. And as we expand these bubbles, we’ll increase our capacity for understanding people who are different from ourselves. Maybe that’s the best way to heal the fractures between us.
One of Adrienne Adams’ illustrations for The Fairy Doll by Rumer Godden
I’ve already mentioned that I like the notion of letting books inspire your life. When I was young, there were two books in particular that filled me with dreams of dolls with interesting wardrobes and furniture. I’m not very good with my hands, so the dreams came to nothing. But maybe the books will inspire you or your children. If not, they’re good stories in and of themselves.
The Fairy Doll is one of Rumer Godden’s lesser-known books. A prolific British author, Godden is best known for Black Narcissus and The Greengage Summer, as well as for many of her children’s books about dolls. Hitty, which won the Newbery Medal in 1930, is by Rachel Field. She was also author of Prayer for a Child, which won the Caldecott Medal in 1945.
The Fairy Doll is a short book about Elizabeth, the youngest of four children. Next to her brothers and sisters, Elizabeth feels klutzy and stupid. They order her about and tease her mercilessly. One Christmas her great-grandmother proclaims that Elizabeth needs a good fairy, just as the family’s tree topper — a fairy doll — falls off the tree.
Elizabeth uses a bicycle basket, moss, and sawdust to make a home for her fairy doll. Then she fills it with a seashell bed and other things.
She asked Father to cut her two bits from a round, smooth branch; they were three inches high and made a table and a writing desk. There were toadstools for stools; stuck in the sawdust, they stood upright. On the table were acorn cups and bowls, and small leaf plates. Over the writing desk was a piece of dried-out honeycomb; it was exactly like the rack of pigeonholes over Father’s desk. Fairy Doll could keep her letters there, and she could write letters; Elizabeth found a tiny feather and asked Godfrey to cut its point to make a quill pen like the one Mother had, and for writing paper there were petals of a Christmas rose.
As an adult, I realize that Fairy Doll’s home would be relatively easy to make. When I was a child, I was both enchanted and intimidated by the idea. Since I didn’t have a fairy doll to make such a home for, I never even attempted it. But I read the book over and over again, entranced by the story of a child who begins to grow up after acquiring a seemingly magical doll.
In sewing they began tray-cloths in embroidery stitches; perhaps it was from making the small-sized fairy things that Elizabeth’s fingers had learned to be neat; the needle went in and out, plock, plock, plock, and there was not a trace of blood. “You’re getting quite nimble,” said Miss Thrupp, and she told the class, “Nimble means clever and quick.”
“Does she means I’m clever?” Elizabeth asked the little boy next to her. She could not believe it.
I haven’t read all of Godden’s doll books, but there is at least one more among them that inspires the same sort of doll-house dreams. Like The Fairy Doll, Miss Happiness and Miss Flower involves an awkward child in a family of six. In this case, the child is Nona, a girl who has been sent from India to England to live with her aunt, uncle, and three cousins. She is sad and fearful, but then a package of Japanese dolls arrives. Nona blossoms as she works to make the dolls their own house. My original copy, which I no longer have, had a floor plan for a Japanese doll house. Even without that, a handy person could make a good start on such a house based on the information in the book.
You’d have to buy an old copy of Hitty to get this frontispiece, but most of Dorothy Lathrop’s illustrations are still present in contemporary editions.
Hitty concerns a little wooden doll that travels from owner to owner over the course of 100 years. Hitty is lost and found, hidden away and found again, over and over. In India, she acquires a coral necklace; in Philadelphia, her young Quaker owner sews her appropriately plain clothing. At one point, a woman uses her to show off her skills as a seamstress. Through it all, Hitty retains her original chemise with her name cross-stitched on it. Although Hitty sometimes has a few belongings in addition to her clothes, such as a cradle and a sea chest, it was her wardrobe that captured my imagination when I was young. Again, nothing came of it, but I wanted to dress one of my dolls in all of the outfits that Hitty had during her first hundred years.
[H]ow she could sew! I am sure no doll ever underwent so great a change in two short weeks. No butterfly emerged more resplendent from its cocoon than I from the hands of Miss Milly Pinch. Except for my corals, only my chemise remained of my former wardrobe. I doubt if this would have been kept had she not thought it a remarkably fine piece of linen cloth. How is it possible for my poor pen to do justice to my new attire — to the watered-silk dress with draped skirt, fitted waist, and innumerable bows? How can I describe the blue velvet pelisse embroidered with garlands no bigger than pinheads? How tell of the little feathered hat and muff of white eiderdown?
I’ll warn potential readers that it had been a long time since I’d read Hitty when I sat down to write this. As I skimmed through it, I found that it was full of stereotypes that I’d managed to forget. There has been one time when I chose not to write about a book because its contents were not what I remembered. In this case, I’m willing to write Field’s stereotypes off as ignorant, not hateful.
If you love dolls or have a child who loves dolls, or if you enjoy making things, consider picking up The Fairy Doll or Hitty… or Miss Happiness and Miss Flower, for that matter. All of these books are easily obtainable online, if not in bookstores. Enjoy the stories and, if you wish, allow the books to inspire you to create something for a doll.
“So, Kate, what was that you were saying about how your life sucks, because everyone except you is at the U2 concert?”
I don’t often experience social media-induced envy, but I had a raging case on Friday night. As I sat outside the Target dressing rooms while my daughter tried on pants, I scrolled through Instagram and Facebook. Many friends were posting about U2’s Joshua Tree tour. I wished with all my heart that I could be at the concert, too.
Then I went home and looked at the news, and I got my sense of perspective back. Sure, I’d enjoy going to the U2 concert. But I’m fortunate to have a home, and it’s not threatened by hurricanes. I’m really blessed.
When we have a sense of perspective, it enables us to reach out to others. If we’re focused on what we lack in life, we may be less willing to share what we have. Like many Americans, I struggle to make ends meet. We need to do some work on our house and to replace one or two of our cars. But we have a house and more than one car. We are employed and have health insurance. We may not be in America’s 1%, but on a global scale, we are part of the 1%. I can see no better thing to do with our wealth than to use it to help others.
Sometimes it’s easier to spot a lack of perspective in others’ lives than noticing our own. If I’m near our football stadium and see someone holding up a sign that says “I NEED TICKETS,” I always want to fix the sign, replacing “NEED” with “WANT.”
However, most of the time I recommend you keep your mouth shut and focus on your own sense of perspective. There are exceptions to this. If your children have “affluenza,” it can be important to remind them of how fortunate they are. But sometimes you end up belittling someone’s pain when you compare their suffering to what others are going through. If someone complains about their job, the proper response is not “At least you have a job.” A lousy job sucks, no matter what the economy is like. And in some cases, people who seem to lack perspective are suffering from depression or anxiety — serious mental health disorders that cannot be cured by merely looking on the bright side.
But in our own lives, it can be valuable to work on developing a sense of perspective. Practicing gratitude through exercises like keeping a gratitude journal can help you focus on what you have, instead of what you lack. Likewise, keeping up with world news can be a marvelous way of giving yourself a sense of perspective.
From there, we may find ourselves reminded how fortunate we are, and we may feel called to share our good fortune with others.
If you are truly suffering for any reason — a tragedy in your life, depression, a distressing situation that seems inescapable — please go easy on yourself. Your pain is real, even if there are others who are suffering more. But for those of us who, like me, are just wishing for a better life, let’s put things in perspective and ask ourselves how we can use what we’ve been blessed with to do good.
Although The Tick was a comic book superhero before he appeared on TV, I first encountered him in a 1994-96 cartoon. I fell in love with the quirky show, filled with ridiculous heroes and villains like Bipolar Bear and El Seed. The big blue hero is the subject of three different television series: the animated series, a brief-lived live action show in 2001, and now an Amazon Prime series.
The Tick is a muscly man in what appears to be a blue suit (it may be a part of The Tick himself). He is known for his “incredible strength, nigh invulnerability, and a teeny-tiny little brain.” Arthur is his crimefighting partner — an average man who acts as the brains of the duo. The Tick is optimistic and childlike; Arthur balances him with his adult realism. They’re the perfect pairing of crime-fighters — something that The Tick realizes long before Arthur does.
Beyond The Tick and Arthur, there are few similarities between the three shows and the comic book series (I admit that I’ve read only a handful of the comics). All of them include Arthur’s sister, Dot, who is not crazy about his “lifestyle.” All include an ancient villain known as The Terror. But there are big differences in terms of the supporting cast and tone of each iteration.
The animated series is a high-energy Saturday morning cartoon, suitable for most children but enjoyable for adults. In addition to The Tick and Arthur, frequently recurring characters include Die Fledermaus, a cowardly womanizer who resembles Batman, and American Maid, a Wonder Woman parody who’s one of the more competent heroes in the series. These two characters are unique to the cartoon; in the 2001 series, they were replaced by Batmanuel and Captain Liberty.
The 2001 series is well-loved (as is the animated series — both are rated a 7.9 out of 10 on IMDB). I confess that I’m not crazy about it. The humor is more adult, and the focus is on relationships, not crime-fighting. It comes across as a sitcom about superheroes. It has its moments; the episode “Arthur, Interrupted,” in which Arthur “comes out” as a superhero to his family, is pretty funny. But it can also be predictable. If I tell you to write a scene with two characters and a bulldog with a hand grenade in its mouth, you’d probably come up with something similar to part of the “Couples” episode.
Amazon has released six episodes of its series so far, and I’ve really enjoyed them. They’re darker than the other versions of The Tick, and Arthur takes longer to reconcile himself to being a hero. But it still retains much of the humor of the comic books and the other shows. The characters are delightful. I love Overkill, a Punisher-type character whose ill-matched partner is a boat with artificial intelligence.
If you love superheroes and silliness and have not yet experienced The Tick, it’s time to give it a try. Unless you’re into comic books, I’d recommend starting with the cartoon or the Amazon series. If you love The Tick and Arthur and their crazy adventures as much as I do, you’ll probably try all of the takes on these characters… and you may find that each is wonderful in its own way. You might even be inspired to bring your favorite character to life.
Are you prepared to help others during an emergency?
A lot of people have pulled together to help those affected by Hurricane Harvey. Not only first responders but ordinary people came to the rescue of others. People have donated money and goods. Some — not just Americans but also Mexicans — have volunteered. The whole Lakewood Church controversy aside, churches and mosques opened their doors to people who needed shelter. All of these acts are inspiring ways to help people affected by a natural disaster. I’d like to add one more idea to the mix: helping others by preparing for an emergency long before it hits.
Even before 9/11, I’ve believed in keeping an emergency kit ready, though I’ve found it challenging to assemble a complete, easy-to-carry kit. The U.S. government recommends a fairly basic kit including three days of food and water per person plus items such as a first aid kit, a weather radio, and a flashlight. But that’s just the basics. Once you take into account children, pets, medications, and personal hygiene needs, your kit is beginning to get complex. And serious “preppers” recommend far more than what I’ve mentioned so far. But even if you go with a fairly basic kit, it’s a good idea to have one emergency kit at work, one at home, and one in your car.
My guess is few of us are that together. But disasters like Hurricane Harvey and the threat of Hurricane Irma have reminded me of one of the greatest gifts I can give my loved ones: helping them prepare for emergencies.
Of course, if you live with family members, pulling together a kit and an emergency plan for your household is a way you can show your love and make a difference in their lives. But, while I’ve acknowledged that pulling together a kit according to even the more basic recommendations can be a challenge, I have a stretch goal for all of us: Don’t just pull together a comprehensive kit for your own household. Help someone you know get some supplies together. An elderly parent or neighbor, a young adult child living on their own, a single parent, anyone you think could use some help preparing for emergencies will benefit from your gift. In addition to or instead of that, you could have extra supplies available in your kit for someone else in need.
When we learn CPR, most of us secretly hope we’ll never have to use that knowledge. When we pull together an emergency kit, we hope it will never come in handy. But scary things happen, and if they happen where you live or work, having supplies that you can share with others could be a great way to make a difference.
If you listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast, you may have heard someone mention The Twenty Percent True Podcast during a recent “what’s making us happy this week” segment. Guest Tasha Robinson spoke highly of this series of short stories about “modern monsters.” If she’d just left it at “monsters,” I might not have been interested, but she described the author as a blend between Kelly Link, who I don’t know, and Neil Gaiman. The comparison to Gaiman convinced me that I had to check it out.
By the end of the first episode, I knew that I’d been introduced to something wonderful.
If you aren’t really into horror, rest assured: these monsters are not scary. Some of them — like mermaids — aren’t what most people think of as monsters at all. But even the ones that inhabit horror films, like a vampire, aren’t particularly alarming. Author Carolyn Rahaman isn’t trying to scare us. She’s telling us engaging stories involving mythical beings in the modern world.
In some cases the story is told from the point of view of one of those beings. Other times the central character is an ordinary human who is interacting with a “monster.” In some stories, such as “Lost Your Mind,” it will take a while before you realize what you’re dealing with. Stories with titles like “Demons” make it clear from the outset what sort of creature you’ll encounter, though the shape the monster takes may surprise you. Many of the stories have an unexpected twist, and none of them are like anything I’ve read (or watched or listened to) before.
Which brings me to the comparison with Gaiman. Perhaps if I knew Link’s work, I would consider Robinson’s description accurate. I would not, however, call these stories Gaimanesque. Rahaman’s stories are uniquely her own.
The stories are easy to binge — the longest is only 21-1/2 minutes long, the shortest is under 12 minutes. I loved most of the stories, and I “merely” liked a couple of them. None of them were a waste of time. Rahaman is an inventive, masterful storyteller, and she reads her stories quite well.
I was disappointed when I ran out of episodes, but Rahaman promised more stories in a few months, so I subscribed and will dutifully await the next batch. Since the notion of “modern monsters” was the theme for the first season, I don’t expect to hear more of the same in Season Two. Whatever I encounter will be a pleasant surprise.
After listening to a few of the stories, I decided to check out Rahaman’s website. I was surprised not to find a link to published work. Hopefully Rahaman’s podcast will be popular enough to attract the attention of publishers. In the meantime, I highly recommend you indulge in these stories. They’re utterly enchanting.
